I Wish You All Nearsightedness

Sometimes, by living for those moments that rock our world, that trip to Hawaii, going to Disneyland, buying a new car, and playing the same numbers every week for twenty years with hopes of one day winning the lottery, I forget.  I forget that although those events are worth every memory, smile, photo taken, new car smell, and fantasy of fortune, that most of our lives aren’t spent living in those moments.  Most of our lives are spent in the mundane and predictable, day in, day out, paying bills, sorting laundry, going to work, checking off our list of to-do’s, watching the clock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, while counting down the moments until the monumental events.

But those monumental events are happening right here, right now.  The relationships we are nurturing, the unexpected smile from a stranger at a grocery store, the random hug, the one solitary gardenia in full bloom. 

My thoughts alone are sometimes what bring me the greatest joy; like when I think about my mother, who cuts coupons for baby diapers.  There are no babies in our family.  So why does my mother cut coupons for baby diapers?  To pass them out to people at the grocery store who are buying diapers; because she knows that diapers are expensive, and that young couples often struggle….and giving makes her happy.  I’m smiling right this second, thinking about it.

Just last night I was reminded after watching a rerun of Laugh-In, the way my brother used to go around the house constantly and ridiculously stating “Veerrry Interrresting…vat stuupith" in his best German accent.  Another memory that made me laugh, or shake my head, thinking I wasn't the weird one after all.

And then, when my almost two year old neighbor/family friend/child I would take bullets for calls me "Auntie" for the first time ever, after I prod him to tell me who I am; when I watch him show off his new dance moves, which are more of a two step-gallop, knowing he wants me to clap and smile. 

This is happiness.

Happiness isn’t six months from now on a flight to the Bahamas, it’s here, right now, this moment, today; we just don't always see it.  We live in a farsighted world and can't always see what's right in front of us.  For some reason, our vision seems to get worse as we get older.  Children live in moments, adults live for what might come "one day."

I just keep thinking it's too easy to lose site of the clarity right in front of us while that elusive distance is so obviously clear; that day we'll grab the pot of gold and run with it; the day we lose the extra ten pounds, "Then I'll be happy."  Aren't we wasting precious moments?

Today was different for me.  Because I'm part of this farsighted world, I put on my nearsighted glasses, and this is the happiness I found...

--Waking up and resetting my alarm for another half hour, feeling the soft squish of my pillow against my face.  If I were a cat, I would have purred.

-- The aroma of my reliable Folgers and the sound of “beep beep beep” that tells me that it’s ready.

-- That first sip.

-- Sticking my nose right up to the lone gardenia blooming with a vengeance, and taking in that hypnotic fragrant scent. 

--For once, having a full tank of gas.

--Realizing and accepting the genuine love and friendship that surrounds me, even when I’m at my worst.

--Richard, asking me if I’m hungry. “No thank you.” “How about a sandwich?” “No thanks. “Some walnuts? “Nope.” “Would you like a peach?” “Not really.” “How ‘bout a glass of milk?” “Babe I’m fine.” “I can make you some rice.”  “Thank you I’m not hungry.”  “Okay...sigh....I’ll have a sandwich and a glass of milk.”

--Eating the best sandwich ever just because Richard made it and washing it down with a cool glass of milk.  Food always tastes better at his house.

--Calling my daughter and hearing her voice.

--Calling my other daughter, and hearing her voice.

--Being told “Mommy, I made chicken noodle soup and it turned out so good and I have some for you!”

--Knowing that my 21 and 22 year old daughters still call me "Mommy."

--The baying of my Beagles when I walk through the front door while wagging their tails uncontrollably, because they are so happy to see me, even after I feed them.

--Remembering that there’s greatness in each day.

--Putting my head on the pillow and knowing, I don’t have to set the alarm, because after all, I do love to sleep.

--Knowing tomorrow will be a new adventure.

I wish nearsighted vision for everyone.  For those I love and care about, for neighbors and strangers, and people I will never even meet, to see the happiness that beckons, each and every day.  As God as my witness, it is there, screaming for you to notice.

Sweet Dreams and Always GOOD Dreams,

~Renae~