Your Smiles Make Me Smile

If you really want to get the most out of my blog, it's best to start with the first post written in July to the present since some blogs refer back to earlier posts; but any order is just fine... Thanks for visiting! Now scroll on down to the good news! ~Renae~

Sunday, February 26, 2012

"IT'S JUST HAIR!"


Posing for the National Enquirer
 "Cut it before you lose it."  That's just one piece of advice given to (pre)chemo patients before their hair falls out.  Apparently, there is nothing worse than seeing long chunks of hair fall out of your own head knowing you are going to go bald.  So, if you cut it short, at least you get short chunks instead of long chunks.  And so, I cut it.

I reluctantly picked up the phone and called the one person I trust dearly with my hair.  I'd like to think that even though I've seen her only once every five months for the past year (that would be twice) when I've realized my hair has grown into horse hair, an unGodly site on a 50 year old, that she remembers me for my personality. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's not the case. I would in fact bet money that the first time I had her making these artistic movie star layers while I provided numerous pictures of models and celebrities, from Kim Kardashian to Eva Longoria for a $16.00 haircut at Supercuts, that it wasn't my charming personality she remembered me for.  But she did such a great job of making me think I looked beautiful, if only for a moment, that I thought the paparazzi might actually be waiting outside, wanting to show the world on the front of the National Enquirer my celebrity status..."Depressed and Bankrupt Renae, Spotted At Dublin Supercuts! See pg. 5 for photos."  Sigh...am I ever going to be on the front of the National Enquirer?? Please God, even for my cellulite, just once in my life.  My avid followers know how I long for the day where I am somebody enough that I make the trashiest of tabloids.  That, is when you know you've really made it.......... big time.
Posing Again for the National Enquirer
But on that particular day, no one was there but myself to admire the best haircut ever from a walk-in $16.00 experience. In appreciation of her skill and tolerance, I tipped her.  In fact, I tipped her quite well. Not that I'm a math brain or anything, but a $20 tip is by my calculations 125%. That was over six months ago.  Sadly, I think that's why she remembers me, if not for my expectation that she could make me look as stunning as a celebrity with a five minute haircut, but at least she knows I'm not cheap; and in my book, that's a good thing. Cheap haircut, good tipper, and all is right with the world.

So last week, in preparation of what was supposed to be my first treatment prior to getting broadsided with bronchitis, I called her up.  "Hi, you probably don't remember me, but you cut my hair a while back.  I'm Renae." I said.  "Of course I remember you!" She responded enthusiastically.  I didn't believe her.  Then she said "How's the roommate working out?"  Like, okay, she either has a photographic memory, or a little card under "R" that says "Ask Renae how the roommate is working out."  Seriously, I can't remember someone I met a week ago, much less six months ago.

"This is the thing..." I said.  "I'm going to lose my hair to chemo, so I need you to chop it off shoulder length.  I don't want to be pulling out big ol' chunks."  I mean, what if I'm at the library and I hand a kid a book, and a two inch chunk of long hair gets tangled up with the book?  That could actually happen you know.  That's enough to leave a child running and screaming into their mother's arms while I stand in disbelief while sporting a big bald patch.  I can't allow that to happen, and certainly not to a child.  Although, that's not my worst fear.  My worst fear is standing on my tippie toes while reaching to the top shelf for a book with my head tilted backwards and "thunk" the wig falls off exposing my bald head....in front of the few kids I've kicked out of the library.  That would be the true depths of Karma hell.  Obviously, I've put a lot of thought into this. Maybe that's why two of my specialists referred me to a psychiatrist. Really, they did.

And so....my favorite hairdresser ever squeezed me in just before 9:00 p.m. when the shop was almost empty, just in case on the off-chance I started crying or having a full on meltdown.  Not that I've ever cried or had a melt down, but just in case.  I am proud to say, that I did neither.  Not only was I a warrior on a mission, but this time, I gave her only one celebrity picture and was in full acceptance of reality that there were going to be no paparazzi waiting for me upon my exit, no cameras, no National Enquirer (~sniff sniff~).


This time I even gave her free reign. "Don't worry, I'm going to lose it all in three weeks anyway, just give it a quick cut. I don't care how it looks."  Okay I did a little, but not really.  She cut it off.  I thanked her profusely and handed her a $10 tip (which is still more than 50%) and hoped she would remember me again the next time I call.  Somewhere deep inside, I would like to think that she really does remember me for my personality, and on a good day I even think, "Well dangit, maybe she does."

I look in the mirror, and I don't really look like myself with short hair, but it's not so bad.  I know I'm still me.  When I picked up Richard from the airport last night, he even said he really really liked it, and he emphasized the "really."  Which is another reason why I love my Richard so much; because he loves me with long hair or short hair, and I dare to believe he'll even love me when my hair falls out.  I really am such a lucky girl.  And you know what? After chemo....

Hair grows back....
Pre-Chemo Haircut - That's Me!
Sweet Dreams and Always GOOD Dreams,
~Renae~

19 comments:

Kirsten P. said...

It's beautiful!! I love it. Really. ;)

renaedarlene said...

Thank you Kirsten!!!!

Mrcarparts said...

Thumbs up!

Mrcarparts said...

Thumbs up!

renaedarlene said...

Thanks Mrcarparts!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I like it too!!
-Emma

WasillaLake Waterwalkers. said...

Regularly amazing...My friend.

Anonymous said...

You look lovely with short hair OR long hair, so I bet you'll also look lovely with no hair. Some people are lucky that way. :-) Steph

Anonymous said...

Renae, I think it's beautiful. Just like you!! You are AMAZING!!

Judy

renaedarlene said...

Thank you all so much for supporting me. I try to make the best of all this, and I make a lot of jokes, but as many of you well know, it is a very difficult journey. I couldn't do it without you all. Love, ~Renae~

Heena said...

Hi Ranae,
Just read your Blog "It's just haircut". I am so proud of your attitude and wise decision making skills. You are able to foresee things and prepare yourself to face it. Believe me its a very rare quality.
No matter u have long, short or no hair....I will always be your friend. And I hope the same from you-When my hair will all turn gray, my teeth all fallen, my back bent like a hump....you will still be my beloved friend.... :)
..

Laura Davis Baxter said...

You are just too dang cute for your own good. You are just beautiful with your NEW AND IMPROVED SHORT "doo"............Really!

renaedarlene said...

Thanks Laura! I'm so happy that everyone likes it...it's SO easy to take care of! Heck, at this rate, I'm looking forward to no hair. Let the fun begin!

renaedarlene said...

Yes Jenn! Together, WE WILL PREVAIL!!!!!

Lucy G said...

Really a great post Renae. You really know people and can express it, in a way that we all feel. Keep writing; it's a gift for us as your friends and it seems as it is a gift for you as well. I wish I was there to give you many many hugs. Virtual: <><><>
Love you!
Lucy

renaedarlene said...

Thank you Lucy, your words mean the world to me. Love you my friend.

Alicia said...

Beautiful, inside & out, hair or no hair!

Alicia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alicia said...

I only removed my comment because I thought it didn't go through the first time!! (just sayin)