Your Smiles Make Me Smile

If you really want to get the most out of my blog, it's best to start with the first post written in July to the present since some blogs refer back to earlier posts; but any order is just fine... Thanks for visiting! Now scroll on down to the good news! ~Renae~

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


I was only four years old when my brother began to realize that I could be quite entertaining under his premeditated direction.  For fear of retaliation, I am not going to disclose which brother, but I only have one that I have personally met.  He was around six at the time and figured out quickly that if he told me to do something, I would do it. Basically, my big brother was an instigator.

We were in the back seat of the old blue Ford and my mother was driving.  It was easy for my brother to influence me when our father wasn’t around because dad simply wouldn’t tolerate it, but mom….was clueless.  I remember distinctly taking direction from my brother: “When you see a police car you have to say ‘Oink-oink, I smell bacon’.”  He was laughing that evil laugh that only big brothers know how to do.  I remember asking “Why bacon?” “Because cops are pigs” he exclaimed, “heh heh heh.” As if he even knew what that meant.  My mother would occasionally stretch her head around to look at us in the back seat and ask “What are you two doing back there?” And it was always my brother who would say “Nooooooothiiiiinnnngggg.” 

In my brother’s defense, he was only six years old, and the older neighbor boys who were wild and unsupervised influenced him, and he in turn influenced me, because he certainly didn't get that from our parents. 

For the next year, every time I saw a police car I would use my index finger to push my nose up like a pig and excitedly exclaim “Oink! Oink! I smell bacon!”  My brother would laugh aloud and then I would laugh because I had made him laugh. Two annoying as hell siblings.  But never in our minds was there ever any thought that police officers were really pigs, it was just something we did that we thought was funny.  I suppose most stereotypes and prejudice start innocently enough at a young age.

So today I was on my way to work in my little library flat-shoe unsexy outfit and suddenly as I turned onto the highway I see police cars and lanes blocked.  There was an accident.  Now this thrust me into the left turn lane, even though I wasn’t planning on turning.  The truck next to me was in the go straight ahead lane.  Now here’s where the problem was.  My left turn lane light was red.  The truck guys’ light was green. But the two cops directing traffic were motioning for BOTH OF US TO GO STRAIGHT.  Obviously, if I’m in a left turn lane, there is no lane for me to go straight in, without colliding with the truck.  Plus, my light was red, so I couldn’t even turn.  In the midst of the police cars, the accident, the bad direction, I panicked like a deer in headlights.  One of the officers motions at me from across the lane to roll down my window, and quickly walks up to my open window and begins to scream “WHEN THE LIGHT SAYS GREEN, YOU GOOOOO!”  But, but, but, my light didn’t say green.  My light was red.  But “Okay” was all I could muster.  So I go to hit the gas thinking I can go straight now because the truck went and he yells again “WHERE ARE YOU GOING? THE LIGHT IS REEEEEDDDDD!” I was stuck in that “I’m the idiot of the moment” position and everybody’s watching.  Then the light turned green and he shouted “YOU CAN GO NOW!” while shaking his head “stupid woman." 

Oooooooohhhhhh, it only took me about a minute, which is how far I was from the library, for the adrenaline to kick in.  Trust me, it always does.  I called the police department and told them that I don’t know what kind of rookie officers they have on the scene of the accident, but they better get somebody there that knows how to direct traffic.  I was livid. I couldn’t turn and I couldn’t go straight….so what the @#$%^&* was I supposed to do?  Although I did not use profanity, it was just in my head.  The Captain on duty said “Maaaam, you’re shouting at me.”  I said, “Exactly! Your officer almost got me in an accident and then he was shouting at me! And now I’m shouting at you! See why you need to be nice to people?” 

In the end, in the back of my prejudice little mind I was thinking “jerk cop”, but after I had time to calm down I thought about how every single day these men and women put their lives on the line to serve and protect us.  Some of them are in fact rookies, some are young, some have really big egos, some have been hit by cars while directing traffic, and some are really wonderful.  But no matter how safe a situation seems to be, they never know when a situation can turn dangerous, quickly. I’m a jerk after two cups of coffee, but put me in that anxiety ridden situation every single day, and I, no doubt, would become the jerk cop. Even then, there are bad of everything and the few bad usually ruin it for the many good, at least in our natural reaction.  Think about it, you pass by hundreds of good, follow-direction drivers every single day, but the one person, the one a-hole person that cuts you off in traffic, is the one you focus on.  "Drivers in (fill in the State) suck!" you say.

I decided to give the cop that yelled at me the benefit of the doubt. I had to think about what his life might be like, what frustrations and tragedies his work, much less his personal life could be confronting him daily.  And then I thought, for all I know, he could have just witnessed some bratty little four year old girl being coerced by her six year old brother to squish her face against the window while pushing her nose up like a pig and saying “Oink Oink. I smell bacon.”  I got over it.

Sweet Dreams and Always, GOOD Dreams,


YaItsMe said...

O.K. I know your brother and i don't really think he would.... wait, yes he would've. hahaha

Anonymous said...

Oh yes he would....and I have a LOT more stories where that came from! hee hee- payback time. ~Renae~