THE DAY I MET MY ALIAS

Her name was Page.  I didn’t tell her my secret desire to change my name to Page; not at first anyway.  We had just met in the dog park, me with my dogs Bailey and Lilly, and she with her dog, Prada; a likely name for a dog whose owner held the coolest girl’s name, ever.

My obsession began with a co-worker when I was 14, while serving ice-cream and popcorn at Andy’s Carmel Corn in the Sears mall in Anchorage.  She was blond with freckles, older than I, and amazingly cool.  That was when I decided that I wanted her name. 

Years later while watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, my theory was reinforced when I was introduced to Paige Hemmis, one of the show’s designers.  Cool, funny, pretty, spunky, and witty, I was again convinced that the coolest of the cool chicks had one thing in common, they all had the name Paige, or Page, no matter the spelling.  Only Paige Hemmis had her own hot pink hard hat, which elevated her to “Super Cool” in my eyes.  And so I made my decision. I too would become a Page. 

Around that time I began conjuring up a reading program for children in underserved communities while simultaneously working on my library credentials.  I spent hours daydreaming about the perfect program which would bring out the passion for books and a desire to read in children from a very young age. I would inspire them with wit, and music, and bring to life the characters on the page through my imaginative reading style.  My "stage" name would be Page. Page Turner.  "How appropriate" I thought.  I started using my new name in little ways, sometimes while joking at the library, and other times for things like when when I signed up for Yelp…and let me mention that if you are ever going to slam a restaurant, do it under an alias in case you ever have to go back there to eat.  To this day I am Yelp critic "Page Turner of San Ramon."  yuk yuk yuk.

But let’s go back to the dog park, just yesterday, where I found myself engrossed in conversation about life and college and child psychology, with a really cool girl with a dog Prada, who by the way, had a hot pink harness.  She was talking about something pertinent, but all I heard was ”…and so my mom said ‘Hey Page’…”  and she continued. 

“Oh my GOD, did she just say her name is Page?” I wondered, not hearing a word she said after that. Unfortunately, at that very second Lillian decided to poop on the other side of the dog park leaving me running to scoop it up just as I was getting ready to exclaim my ultimate desire to also be a Page. I barely got the poop bag in the garbage can when, not being able to contain myself any longer I excitedly blurted out while still half way across the dog park, "Oh my God I LOVE YOUR NAME!” At that she laughed, threw her head back with style that only a Page would have and said, “Oh not me, I hate my name.  Do you know what my last name is?”

“No” I replied, thinking wouldn’t that be funny if…

“….Turner.”  She replied. “Page Turner.”

And at that, knowing San Ramon is much too small for two Page Turners, I decided I had no choice but to keep....my real name.  I hear Renae is a pretty cool chick too; and that's the good news, until next time...

Sweet Dreams And Always GOOD Dreams,

~Renae~